Irresistibly Sweet

I envied the cheerleaders in high school. I wanted to be popular, have a boyfriend, wear cool clothes, and go to my senior prom. But I was too shy. And sweet. “Stay as sweet as you are” my friends wrote in my yearbook. Yecch!

Forward forty years in time to today, the day I received the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award from Haley Whitehall, a great friend and editing partner in my online writing class. I’m a little older now (just a tad) and more experienced. Kindness trumps cool clothes any day, popularity is a state of mind, and receiving a gift is a blessing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The rules associated with accepting the award:
1) You link the person who sent it to you
2) List seven random facts about yourself
3) Pass the award on to 15 other awesome blog buddies
4) Contact them and let them know

I’m modifying the rules because . . . well, because that’s what I do. I break the rules in my writing. I break the rules when I cook. My husband says I never just follow a recipe, I’m always changing something. I guess it’s the rebel in me.

Here are some random facts about me.

• I believe my book will be a NYT bestseller.
• I believe that cats (all sizes) are amazing and glorious creatures.
• I believe that you can change your destiny.
• I believe in happily ever after.
• I believe in using correct grammar whenever possible.
• I believe we can lead lives of greatness.
• I believe that all we need is love.

And last but not least, the recipients of the award. My dear SWEET friends:

Fran Stewart - Bees Knees Beekeeping

Colleen Fong - Eve Laments – All About Women, For Women, By Women

 

Point of View

Are you confused about point of view? The term Point of View (POV) answers the question, “Who is telling the story?” Is it your heroine? Your hero? Do you use both? Maybe you have several characters that move the story along. All of these options are acceptable. It’s up to you, the author, to choose how to present your book.

In first-person POV (I saw, we did, I am, etc.) the story is told through the eyes of the main character. All the scenery, actions, and emotions come from that person. If you want to describe another character’s physical traits, you have to use your main character’s thoughts or dialogue. The advantage of this method is the ability to explore your character’s beliefs and feelings and deepen the connection between the main character and the reader. Popular novels written in first-person POV are: Twilight (Stephanie Meyer), Percy Jackson and the Olympians (Rick Riordan), The Book Thief (Markus Zusak), and, of course, the Harry Potter books (J. K. Rowling).

A disadvantage of first-person POV is that you’re limited to telling the story only through that main person. No other character in the story is allowed inner thoughts or feelings. Each scene, each chapter revolves around the main character, which can make the writing more challenging. You don’t have the luxury of switching to another POV to explore a different piece of the story, or to tell the same scene in a different way.

Third-person narration is either “omniscient” or “limited.” In the omniscient viewpoint, the narrator shifts focus from character to character and has knowledge of everyone’s thoughts. He’s the invisible observer. In the same paragraph Mary could wonder about her red shoes, George could think he’s a little overweight, and Harold might be getting up the courage to ask Mary out on a date. The limited viewpoint, on the other hand, focuses on one character at a time. That character may change from scene to scene or chapter to chapter, but only one character is allowed a viewpoint in any one section. This style allows the author more depth with a variety of characters. Popular books that use this method are: Awakened (P. C. Cast), The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Stieg Larsson), The Lost Symbol (Dan Brown), and The Postmistress (Sarah Blake).

Whichever style you choose is entirely up to you. Chapter 13 in Stein on Writing does a marvelous job of explaining point of view in easy-to-understand language. If you’ve never written in first-person POV, try it out. Does your character come alive that way? Do the words flow more easily for you? If not, then switch to third-person POV. And if you’re not sure about omniscient vs. limited, play with those too. The omniscient viewpoint was historically prevalent. In the twentieth century, the limited viewpoint gained popularity. Nowadays . . . well, there are always exceptions to the rule. A number of today’s authors like to interject tiny bits of other characters’ feelings into a limited viewpoint scene. Sarah Blake does this with The Postmistress. I hear James Patterson does the same in his books. And Audrey Niffenegger in The Time Traveler’s Wife uses first-person POV and switches back and forth between her two characters. Confusing? Apparently not, since these books made the New York Times best seller list.

My advice is to stick with one POV until you’re comfortable with it, until you understand the rules and your characters have their own voices. Then do with your story what you will. Break the rules. Just make sure your reader doesn’t care.

Writing Tips

Writing Tips are coming! If you’re a writer or know someone who is or you’re just fascinated by the how-tos of writing, tune in to the new Writing Tips page where  mysteries will be unveiled.

Comments and questions are welcome. Pose your favorite dilemmas and I’ll do my best to answer them.

May your writing muse bring you great inspiration.
Nanette

Living in Ease

 My Law of Attraction coaching group started up again in January. At the beginning of the year we’re asked to choose a theme—something we want to focus on the rest of the year. Something that will move us forward on our transformational journey.

Last year my theme was Expansion, expanding my preset boundaries, breaking free of self-imposed limits, and it was tremendous. For several days this year I entertained the notion of Surrender for my theme. But the idea of Surrender terrified me. I think I’ve read too many novels about surrender in all its forms and I just wasn’t ready to give it all up, whatever “it” might be. So as I sat in the group at the last meeting, the word Ease filtered into my mind and with it a sweet delight at the thought of releasing struggle. Ease filled me with joy, not dread. And my theme came to be “Living in Ease.”

For over a month now I’ve had pains in my right leg/hip. Working with my Healing Codes coach revealed a heavy amount of resistance, so I’ve been steadily working on releasing the resistance. But I seem to be resisting the resistance and wondering if this issue will ever heal. I have moments of “all is well” when my leg doesn’t bother me and life is magnificent. Then the pain recurs and I’m back into worry and doubt and fear.

Yesterday I consulted Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life. Under “hips” she writes “Carries the body in perfect balance. Major thrust in moving forward.” And the new thought pattern for hip problems is “I am in perfect balance. I move forward in life with ease and with joy at every age.” Several things about the new thought pattern caught my eye. First, I’ve always (or since I was a child) thought I had bad balance because my older brother told me so. Second, I liked the word “ease.”  Third, I’m growing older (aren’t we all) and I liked “at every age” at the end of the affirmation. I wrote down the affirmation, repeated it to myself several times, and then conveniently forgot about it and went on my merry way.

Last night I decided to try my hand at making origami butterflies with the new paper I ordered—beautiful textured pale green paper with leaf imprints and dark green threads running through it. I had failed to pay attention to the weight when I selected the paper and this sheet was thick, much thicker than my previous samples. The square design seemed nearly impossible. I fought with it, trying to bend it into shapes it wasn’t meant for, cursing the origami pattern and my fumbling fingers. The folds looked so easy on the videos. Why couldn’t I do what they do?

This morning I tried again. As I began folding it occurred to me to use my new affirmation. So I said the affirmation and the first time through I accented the first word of the first sentence: “I” am in perfect balance. I move forward in life with ease and with joy at every age. Then I repeated the sentence with the accent on the second word: I “am” in perfect balance. . . . And so forth. After five repetitions I started to think what my life would be like if I were in perfect balance and I imagined myself growing older with ease and flexibility and more energy. I saw myself moving with joy, being in joy, living with ease, and I noticed my task was much easier. Folding was a joy, not a struggle. And I learned that thicker papers are more suited for the rectangular design, whereas the square design requires thinner paper.

Life is full of obstacles. We’re here to learn how to love ourselves and others, and the obstacles of life offer us beautiful examples of how to express that love. Sometimes we don’t get the lesson on the first try. Sometimes it takes a lifetime. But if each moment we do our best, those moments build on each other and soon serve as the new foundation.

Are you living in ease? Or is your life full of struggle? Take a moment to reflect and see what your life would be like if you were living in ease. Then use the affirmation (or whatever method works for you) to break your old habits and beliefs and move into the life you desire.

Good Intentions

Good intentions are like New Year’s resolutions. Without follow through you don’t get very far.

As 2010 came to a close I planned to review last year’s gratitude list. Every day I share a list with Meg in Australia. We commiserate over disappointments, rejoice over our successes, acknowledge each other’s breakthroughs, and just generally give support and encouragement. I know I had a number of “aha” moments last year, but without that review I don’t remember them.

I do remember some of the changes I made in my life. I joined a Law of Attraction coaching group led by the delightfully wise Wendy Watkins. A huge thing for me. Coaching is for other people, I thought. Like therapy. But I needed help to take the next step, to recognize my desires and go for them. My theme for the year was expansion, moving past my boundaries. I wanted to break out of my shell and be more of who I am.

Due to the encouragement of my coaching group, I made progress, starting with some little things. I agreed to switch from Heavy Wipes to a dishcloth. I grew up using Heavy Wipes; my husband grew up with dishcloths. It’s MY kitchen—I’ve claimed it since I’m the cook—so I get to determine what we use. But I also wanted to “expand” and changing dishcloths seemed like a good way to get my feet wet. Making the decision is the hard part. Once you decide to do something, really decide, then you just follow through. I discovered that Heavy Wipes and dishcloths work equally well, so we now use dishcloths.

I also switched sides of the bed. I’d been sleeping on the right side of the bed for years. That was my place. Closer to the bathroom in case I had to get up in the middle of the night. But several years ago I injured my right shoulder and that’s the side next to my husband, the side that he presses on when he cuddles. He suggested for two years that I switch sides and I refused. After the dishcloth success, I decided I could do this too. So one night I changed sides and it was . . . fine. Not a big deal and much easier on my shoulder.

Some things required more attention. Writing, for example. I’ve been working on a novel for over two years now, without much success, because I keep getting distracted. I “intend” to write (remember those good intentions) but unless I physically force myself to sit in front of my computer and press on the keys, nothing happens. Last year I did some healing work on my confidence and reinstated my desire to write, to finish my book, to get it published. And I started writing again.

As Wendy and I wrapped up the year I told her that my theme for this year is surrender. It sounded incredibly noble and spiritual and I realized the next day I had absolutely no idea how to do that. Or what it really means. But I expect I’ll learn. I’ll probably take baby steps because as much as I long to jump in and get there, I tend to process things slowly. And that’s okay. One step at a time will get me where I want to go.

Today I received a late Christmas card from Sharon in Washington. She was looking for my address in my email and happened across my blog for the first time. After reading it, and some of my short stories, she wrote to encourage me (once again) to finish my book, to blog, to do whatever it takes to keep writing.

2011 brings new energy to the world, energy that is stirring up old beliefs and patterns. Doubts and fears, physical problems, emotional overloads, all these are here for us to examine, to acknowledge, and to release. Resistance is futile, yet some of us, myself included, can be pretty darn stubborn. A little love will ease the way. That’s right, love yourself. The more you do, the better you’ll feel.

So, dear friends, this is my first blog post for 2011. To date I have over 46,000 words on my novel, the first of three stories. I don’t write every day. Weeks often pass without any writing, but I keep plodding along. Those little baby steps, you know.

What are your dreams? Are you moving towards them? Or are you stuck in doubt and fear? Allow the resistance and you’ll move through it. Little baby steps, remember.

If I can do it, so can you.

Telling It Like You Want It to Be

For several years I’ve been transforming myself bit by bit. A thought here, a belief there, a slight twist of perspective, a little modification of behavior. Slowly I’m becoming the person I want to be. All of it took time; most of it took applied effort.

A year and half ago I invested in the Healing Codes by Alex Lloyd and within a few months I noticed marked change and improvement. The codes work on your emotional level, much like EFT, but where I’m unwilling to pursue EFT for lengthy periods, I was willing to keep up with the Healing Codes. It also helped – tremendously – to work with a coach. My coach keeps me accountable. I get to listen to my body and my emotional level and do the work or not do the work, and in the end I can applaud myself for a job well done, or keep going until I get the desired result.

The whole purpose of working with the codes is to be happier, have a better lifestyle, achieve what I desire. I’ve had a gum tumor for over twenty years. It didn’t used to bother me but it grew over time and eventually it got big enough to make me hide my smile. I love to smile. In these days of perfect white teeth and brilliant smiles, I felt like the ugly duckling. So I should do something about it, right? That question arose when I went to get Invisalign braces to straighten my overlapping front teeth. I had metal braces for 4-1/2 years when I was a kid. They were painful, uncomfortable, got me teased in school. I did not want a repetition of that experience. Besides, Invisalign is a more gentle approach and would work with my teeth situation. But there was a little problem. The orthodontist strongly urged me to get my gum tumor removed. She wisely counseled that I would finish with my braces, have nice straight teeth, and still have an ugly bump on my gum that would prevent a beautiful smile.

Did I mention that I really don’t like surgery? I mean, really don’t like it. All that cutting is nasty and hard on the body. The recovery isn’t too pretty either. Plus, I’d had an oral surgeon try to remove the bump some years ago. He wasn’t successful. So the prospect of more surgery was not attractive. I declined and started the Invisalign process. 

Fast forward to the present. I finished with the braces and have nice straight teeth. I love my smile. Well, I would love my smile except for that thing on my gum. Working with the Healing Codes allowed me to resolve a lot of the emotional connection with the tumor. So I decided to have surgery and found an oral surgeon that I trusted. Trust is a huge thing. I knew the surgeon would do a good job, he would take care of the problem, and the situation would be resolved. I also decided to program my mind to accept the fact that my recovery from the surgery would be quick, easy, and painless. I wrote a script to that effect and read it every day before the surgery. And I believed. 

Surgery went well. My gum healed beautifully and I had no pain. Let me repeat that. There was no pain. I didn’t even touch my prescription. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe the stars were in alignment that day. Or maybe it just happened the way I said it would. 

I love my smile. 

Telling it like you want it to be. I wouldn’t have believed I could do this before the Healing Codes. I’m not even sure I would have believed it just a few months ago. But it happened. So I guess I can tell it like I want it to be.

Isn’t it amazing how powerful we are?

I Love You, Forgive Me

Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of forgiveness that has come to mean “making right.” How often do you make things right?

I mentioned in my earlier post today that I listened to one of Jo Dunning’s recorded broadcasts where she sends out energy to help people heal whatever issues are going on in their lives. You are not required to identify the issues, merely to listen. The energy is accommodating, she says, which makes me smile. I am not always that way.

About halfway through her talk she related a story about a blood test that resulted in nerve damage to her arm. My body suddenly paid great attention. I have had nerve damage in my right arm for over 2 years as a result of shoulder surgery on a torn ligament. Like Jo, I tried numerous approaches to healing, none of which have succeeded. Jo discovered, after many attempts, that she alone would have to heal herself, and in her divine wisdom she turned to love and compassion. Every time she experienced pain in her arm, she gave it love. In a mere 3 days time, the pain disappeared, permanently.

Acceptance is the key. There are things about ourselves we dislike, would rather not have, don’t know how to deal with – pain, depression, wrinkles, creaking joints, debilitating disease, etc. When we fail to release our stress, the way we feel about certain situations in life, anger, shame, guilt, these things get stored in our body and slowly begin to cripple us. We look at what we have become and wish we were more beautiful, more flexible. We long to recapture the vibrancy and excitement of youth. We want to be anything but what we are. But when we can learn to love ourselves again, to accept what we are, to let go of our resistance and let ourselves be, then energy can flow through us with more freedom and greater abandon. Change can occur. We can become what we wish to be.

Ho’oponopono. Making things right. Giving yourself love and compassion.

       To my arm I say: I love you, forgive me.
       To my nose that I blow constantly: I love you, forgive me.
       To my wrinkles I say: I love you, forgive me.
       To my creaky joints I say: I love you, forgive me.
       To the age spots on my face I say: I love you, forgive me.

The list goes on. And to each issue I am giving love and compassion. I am letting my heart remember how it feels to love myself, to nurture myself, to be kind to this body of mine. To support and encourage it so that it will support and encourage me.

I am making things right. With acceptance. I love you, forgive me.

Abundance, Wherefore Art Thou?

This morning I settled into my office chair, in front of my computer, and turned on a Jo Dunning recording while I gave myself a long-overdue manicure. Her soothing voice came on, lulling my senses as I filed my nails. Part of my mind listened to her talk about how the energy works even without conscious attention. I’ve started wondering lately if the energy really is working. Am I seeing any difference – in my physical body, in my abundance?

I started tuning into Jo’s monthly teleconference calls in July and began the Abundance Project somewhere around that time. This year has been a trying one where finances are concerned. Trying to find work, trying to make more money, trying not to be frustrated or discouraged. [Interesting word, “trying”] Amid all that trying, things began to happen. I didn’t win the lottery, but that’s difficult to do if you don’t buy lottery tickets. I didn’t get a mysterious check in the mail (fill in the appropriate amount). Oprah didn’t call me to be on her show. What did happen was something that I wrote about in a previous blog. I took the Passion Test and discovered my passions. Was that a result of the Abundance Project? Maybe. Maybe not. But out of discovering my passions has come a renewed excitement about art and graphic design. I’m learning all sorts of skills on Photoshop and Illustrator – mere child’s play for the experts but still magical and awe-inspiring for me. I’m having fun. I’m allowing my creativity to dictate where I turn, what I learn next. Forget the basics. Those will come later. Right now I’m warping dollar bills to blow in the wind and filling text with patterns and polka dots. Why? Because I can. Because it’s fun. Because it gives me great joy. And isn’t that the reason for abundance?

The Passion Test

Recently, a wonderful coach I know (Wendy Watkins) offered to take me through the Passion Test by Janet Attwood. The book was required for the coaching session, so I began to read about Janet and her journey. Like many of us, she was searching for a way of life that would fill her with joy and purpose and she stumbled upon the answers and created an amazing method.

I spent most of my adulthood in jobs that paid the rent but did not fulfill me. I had no goals, no ambitions. Indeed, I quaked inside whenever I tried to make out a list of desires. What did I want out of life? The Jaguar and Mercedes sounded great, but did I need them? I had a perfectly good car that got me where I wanted to go. The villa in Italy seemed divine, but I had never been to Italy. What if I didn’t like it there? Where was that burning desire that would make me eager to get up in the morning and do something so miraculous and astounding that I would jump for joy?

I found glimmers of that passion in my early 40s. The writing bug bit me and my life took on a new dimension. Scrawling words across the page thrilled me like never before. I was creating. Then one day I wrote a song. Combining words and music felt like peeling away a slice of heaven and wrapping it around my body. What a great beginning. But these artful creations were only pieces of my life, not the core part.

For years I’ve struggled with defining myself. Who am I? What am I meant to do? Am I a writer? A composer? An editor? Does a skill with color and layout mean I’m a graphic designer? Because I can draw am I an artist?

I love all these creative aspects of myself and I am the most joyous when I am creating. Yet there is also an inherent need to heal and teach. I am a nurturer, a caregiver (in the emotional sense). I need to make people feel better. Healing myself has been a lifelong journey and it continues. How do I put these talents and needs together and make a difference in the world?

The Passion Test came along at an opportune time. I wrote out my list, including the creative aspects, the need to heal, the desire to travel, cook, be with friends and family. I had 19 “passions.” Then I went through the list and compared them. The book tells you to make a choice: If you could do, have, or be this one but not the other, which one would you choose? And after ranking all 19, I came up with my top 5. Then I had my coaching session with Wendy and she took me through the list again, asking me to allow myself to be open and come from the heart. I agreed. Surprise, surprise, my choices changed. When we got to the final result and she read my top 5 passions to me, my eyes filled with tears and my heart swelled with joy and amazement. This is my life. This is my purpose. These are my loves.

My top 5 passions are: Living in a beautiful home by the ocean; Creating art for others that brings joy and healing; Showing and teaching people how to heal themselves; Being a world-renowned transformational speaker; Giving and receiving love in every aspect of my life.

The book advises you to write your passions down and post them around the house to remind you of them. What you put your attention on will come to you. For now I’m reading my passion cards every day, giving love whenever I can, especially to myself, and reveling in my art. I’m having fun. I’m living in joy. Life is fabulous. Of course there are challenges. I have to make decisions all the time. The trick is to choose in favor of my passions.

What are your passions? Not everyone is in the same place. If you’re one of the people who knows and is living your dream, more power to you. If you’re a little unsure, take the Passion Test. Then let me know what you discovered.

 

Passion Card

Heaven is full of cats

Last weekend I had the good fortune of sitting with a friend’s cats. Cats were my constant companions when I was a child, and frequently as an adult, but not since marriage. My husband is allergic. We could have a dog, but we’re not ready for the responsibility. I’m still not sure whether it’s an emotional disability or a mental one on our part, but so far we’re allowing it to get in the way.

I miss cats. Dogs are amazing creatures—friendly, warm, caring, unconditionally loving. They are more protective than cats and often friendlier than cats. But I am a cat lover at heart and probably had several lives as a cat. I feel in sync with these animals, responding on much more than a physical level with them.

Four different cats curled on my lap. An orange tabby and an all black cat began the conversation. The tabby curled across my lap while the black cat nuzzled my arm and stepped on my abdomen. Not the most comfortable choice for me but I was prepared to wait. A short while later, the black cat made its way to my side and lay down. They stayed in those positions for about twenty minutes. Twenty minutes of warmth and soft fur and loud purring. My eyes closed and my head drooped. I started to doze. A light breeze wafted through the screen door. Outside children squealed in laughter and a lawnmower droned. I was in heaven.

A sharp buzz awoke the black cat, which jumped down and left the scene. Then the gray tabby, curled in a cubby hole nearby, awoke and padded over. She rubbed against my chest and unsettled the orange tabby, which also left. A solid gray cat appeared and assumed the black cat’s position. A change of guard, so to speak. I had no preferences, no particular strategy. Any cat would do, and two at a time was wonderful. This went on for about twenty minutes, then the gray tabby moved on. At that point, the solid gray cat claimed my lap and curled up to sleep.

I left the stress of the normal day behind while I gazed out the back window at tall trees in leafy green splendor dappled with sunlight. On my lap, a soft, purring creature slept. What could be better or more relaxing?

Sometimes finding grace can be as simple as petting a cat. I need to do this more often. Maybe I can send my husband out of town.